Contemplations in the Afterlife 11

Fandom: Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters

Genre: Romance, Angst

Description: Despite his love for Seto Kaiba, the Pharaoh Yami Yugi has decided to move on to the afterlife. Now, he feels regret for his decision, and prays for another chance for him and his beloved to be together.

Pairing: Seto Kaiba x Yami Yugi (Prideshipping)

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!

Contemplations in the Afterlife
by: scarlet wax petal

Click here to return to Chapter 10. Click here to see the Table of Contents.

May the Pharaoh forgive me for my stupidity and insolence.

Without thinking, I had asked him that question -- and realized soon afterwards that I had committed an unnecessary crime. If I had been back on Earth and done this to a less merciful lord, my head would have been chopped off, and my body fed to wild beasts. Worse, the lord's mages would have damned me to suffer eternal torment in the afterlife's dungeons.

But the Pharaoh, praise the Gods, has a blessed heart. He assured me with words that I had done him no harm. Yet the gray gloom in his eyes -- which I had made the mistake of seeing without his permission -- told me that he was just being kind.

Despite my beloved Kisara's efforts to lull me, I didn't sleep a wink that night. I couldn't erase from my mind the look of pure frozen shock that I had seen on the Pharaoh's face. I shouldn't have seen it, shouldn't have glanced at my Lord when the disturbing silence persisted. I should have had more patience, and waited when the Pharaoh was ready to respond.

I have made many mistakes that day. As I have in the past few weeks. Isis had said that I would have to wait a little longer before I regain perfection. I feel that the Pharaoh wouldn't approve of this, given his humanitarian nature, but still... I pray to the Gods that I regain perfection soon, so that the Pharaoh may regain his happiness.

Chapter 11: Fragment

"Forgive me, my Lord," Seth had said, alarm evident in his voice, as he flinched and promptly turned away.

I then realized that I was so startled by his question that I was left staring dumbstruck at my High Priest. I turned my sight towards the flowing blue waters of the river to help me relax as I cleared the expression from my face. And the frantic beating from my chest.

Seth's question had tugged hard -- painfully -- at my heart. "Do you love Seto Kaiba?" he had asked. And I have no doubt about my answer to this. I am sure that I love Seto Kaiba; I had accepted this fact back when I was still on Earth. But it hurt, as always, to be reminded about my feelings for the man; worse, to be reminded not just in mere thought, but in spoken word. Why, I had even cursed the Gods once because of this, so it also made me wonder why am I not being punished in the afterlife's dungeons.

What had caused me to react that way, however, was the fact that Seth had asked. Definitely, he had surmised -- perhaps, even known -- that I have feelings for Kaiba. But... how?

My pondering was broken when, suddenly, Seth bowed in full submission, almost kissing the ground. "Forgive me, my Lord... Forgive me, my Lord... Forgive me... Forgive me... " I heard him mumble over and over. I was startled, but I couldn't help but be somehow amused (and touched) by his actions. My High Priest was still loyal and servile to me and to the traditions of Ancient Egypt, as I had always remembered him to be.

Gods, why didn't you just let me love him instead of Seto Kaiba? It would've been much easier...

I gently placed a hand upon Seth's shoulder and managed a smile. "Do not be bothered," I softly told him. "You are not at fault."

"But I have hurt you, my Pharaoh..." he uttered, still bowed fully to the ground.

"You haven't," I said, trying to sound as reassuring as I could. "I trust you. I know you have only good intentions for me, Seth. I am right, aren't I?"

"Yes, my Lord."

"So, sit up," I commanded, "and tell me: what were your intentions? What drove you to ask that question?"

Seth, who seemed shaken and drained, gradually sat up, his eyes avoiding me. I gazed at him in sympathy. If we had regarded each other as equals rather than lord-and-servant, then this wouldn't have happened. But Seth was my servant, and I was his lord; nothing could ever change that. I could command him to do anything I wish, even let me claim his body, and he would surely follow.

But I do not wish for another servant; I already have thousands at my beck and call. All I want is that one special person. All I want is Seto Kaiba.

And it wouldn't have been easier if I had loved Seth instead, I suddenly realized. Why, Seth loves Kisara, of course! And it would have been more difficult and more painful if I had loved him instead. Thank the Gods they didn't grant my prayer! I heaved a sigh, greatly relieved.

"My only wish is for my Lord to be happy," Seth said, breaking my musings once again. "And I wanted to be sure that I would be helping in the right way. So I had asked... but it had been unnecessary. I shouldn't have asked."

"Why not?" I asked, biting my lip to suppress my eagerness. "Could you have known the answer in some other way?"

"Yes, my Lord. There are many ways."

Many ways? I had wanted to ask more, but it seemed to me that Seth was so stressed out. He was breathing unevenly, his forehead and neck were dripping with sweat, and his eyebrows were crossing in tension. I could tell that he needed to rest. Furthermore, the sky was already starting to turn pink, a sign of impending dusk. So I stopped asking questions and, instead, motioned for him to stand up and guide me to where I would be spending the night. Seth followed my orders without a word.

We walked the streets of the villages, which were quieting down as the sun began to sink in the horizon. We kept walking, and greeting people along the way, until we arrived at a relatively large house in one of the villages. It was made of yellow brick -- possibly mud, same as the houses that my subjects once lived in three thousand years ago -- and at least five houses in size, with two floors. Compared to my Palace, it was tiny, but honestly, I don't mind; I should be comfortable here.

"This would be your new home, my Lord," Seth said, as he placed his hand on the door and gave it a slight push. The door opened wide, to reveal completely furnished interiors, in traditional design, much like in Ancient Egyptian homes. It was furnished with amenities similar to those which I had in my Palace, lacking only in precious metals and jewelry, which didn't bother me the least. The air was comfortably warm, even during the late afternoon, and at the top floor, where my bedroom was, I could easily see the sky turning orange.

I was met with an array of about eight servants, who all looked ready to answer my whims. I turned back to Seth and gave him a nod. My former High Priest bowed low, closed the door and left.

I slumped myself on the nearest soft chair and thought about what had happened during the day. I realized that after my conversation with Seth, even when some of my questions had been answered, I was left with even more questions. I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep well if I don't find the answers to at least some of these.

When one of the house servants brought me a cool glass of water, I asked him if he knew where I could find any one of my other priests. The servant told me that in this part of the afterlife, it is Isis who is most involved with the people, as she serves as an oracle, ever present in the temple found in the heart of this afterlife world. The temple, I recalled, was where we had the lavish banquet this morning. I told the servant to accompany me there.

Upon reaching the entrance to the temple, I dismissed my servant and told him to go back to my house. The servant bowed low, then turned his back and left.

The temple was made of two large rooms. One was a banquet hall, the other was the main worship area. The main worship area was where I found Isis. She was seated sagaciously, in prayer, with her eyes closed, her legs crossed and her palms raised to the heavens. Before her was a small shallow pool of clear water, no deeper than my ankles and no wider than my height. I assumed that this must be where she saw her visions.

I quietly approached her. She calmly greeted me, without moving from where she was. I sat cross-legged directly across her and waited for her to say something.

"I could sense that your heart is troubled, Pharaoh," she spoke in her honey-like voice, "but you came here for a different reason."

"I did," I stated in reply. "I do not wish to speak of what really troubles my heart, for now. All I want is for my questions to be answered."

"You have been with Seth moments ago," she continued. "I see... He knows something about you which you didn't suspect he knew about."

"True. Go on."

"He would always know about it. For the past years, a fragment of his soul has been bound to the physical world. Just as some of us, your other priests, have fragments of our soul still bound to the world of the living. Thus, it was no coincidence that when you were revived, you were met with faces from three thousand years past -- although you didn't remember this then. You have met Shimon and Mahad, Shada and Seth and I. We have sent a part of ourselves in order to await your coming, which has long been prophesied."

"Then, you mean... Seto Kaiba is a fragment of Seth's soul that was sent to await my coming?"

"Yes, and what Seto Kaiba knows, Seth knows. That was how the High Priest had known about your feelings, for you have confessed to Seto Kaiba."

"But why isn't Seto Kaiba aware of Seth? At least, until he was brought to the world of my memories?"

"He is merely a fragment. He wouldn't know what occurs in the other parts of Seth's soul. He would only know of what he experiences as the fragment that he is, and nothing more."

So Seto Kaiba is merely a fragment of Seth's soul... This was getting more complicated. Anxiety was creeping deeper into my heart.

"Do not bother yourself with more troubles, my Lord," Isis said in reassurance. "The situation is easier than it seems, I assure you. The whole is not necessarily the part; neither the part necessarily the whole."

The whole is not necessarily the part, neither the part necessarily the whole? I get it! "So Seto Kaiba and Seth are not necessarily the same, am I right?" I had almost yelled.

Isis smiled. "Do calm yourself, my Lord. And yes, what you say is true. Fundamentally, Seto Kaiba and Seth are similar, as they are born of the same substance of soul. However, one is a fragment and the other is the whole, making them different from each other, as you have seen for yourself."

Isis was right. I have often compared the two men with each other, and found them different. Found that I felt differently for them as well.

But another concern was...

"Will they become a whole again someday?" I asked. Would that be the destiny of Seto Kaiba? Would he be lost forever in Seth?

"I am not certain, my Lord. Not everything is dictated by mere destiny. Destiny also depends on the choices that we make. When the time comes, Seto Kaiba may just have to decide for himself."

(to be continued)

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