Contemplations in the Afterlife 05
Fandom: Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters
Genre: Romance, Angst
Description: Despite his love for Seto Kaiba, the Pharaoh Yami Yugi has decided to move on to the afterlife. Now, he feels regret for his decision, and prays for another chance for him and his beloved to be together.
Pairing: Seto Kaiba x Yami Yugi (Prideshipping)
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!
Contemplations in the Afterlife
by: scarlet wax petal
Click here to return to Chapter 4. Click here to see the Table of Contents.
Although it was Yami Yugi's consciousness that was dominant in my body at that time, I was also fully aware of what was happening. It was just like those times when we were on a duel. I saw what he saw, heard what he heard, felt what he felt.
So when Shadi had said those words, I also experienced my yami's terror -- at least, for a moment, until he cut off our mind link. I found myself thrust to my soul room, against my will, the door suddenly shutting locked before me. I feared for my yami. Whatever he was experiencing must be so painful and frightening that he did not want me to share in it. He was always like this, always protecting me. I often wished he didn't, and allow me to share in the pain. At least, we would be in it together, so it wouldn't be as terrible.
But he was always in it by himself, all alone. And I was always left helpless, with no way of helping him.
Still, I wouldn't be sitting here, waiting for a miracle to happen. I ran to the door, fiddled with the doorknob, banged my fists repeatedly on cold steel. Nothing. I screamed out his name over and over. No response.
My yami's psychic defenses are awfully strong. But I wouldn't give up.
Finally, the lock gave way, by itself. Yami Yugi must have blacked out. I opened the door and found him lying on the floor, curled up in his arms. I sat down and gently lay his head upon my lap. His face was serene, his breathing even and natural. Whatever had scared him must be over now, as unconsciousness has claimed him in its merciful embrace and spared him from further suffering.
Chapter 5: Yugi
My soul awoke. I found myself on my hikari's lap. I realized that we were in the chambers of our mind. Then, I had not yet regained my senses in the physical world.
I strained to stand up, but the throbbing pain on my head and chest made it difficult for me to move. My hikari must have seen the expression of pain on my face, for he placed his hand on my chest and gently pushed me back down. He hushed me and softly told me not to push myself further. So I lay back down and waited for the pain to subside.
For a long time, we stayed there, still and silent. No words were said, but we both knew that we were exchanging something between the two of us -- something that cannot be explained, only felt. It was a bond deeper than that shared by twin brothers. I decided to let the moment last for as long as possible, as somehow, I knew: this would be the last time that my hikari and I would be doing this.
Finally, I broke the silence: "I should be going back now." I stood up and prepared to return to the physical world.
"Wait," he said, pulling on one leg of my pants. I turned my head towards him.
"What is it, aibou?" I asked.
"You still haven't told me what caused you pain..."
Again, my hikari must have seen something unpleasant cross my face. He flinched, turned his head away and closed his eyes. "I'm sorry..." he murmured. "I'm so sorry..."
I said nothing. I just looked at him. Although I had wanted to lull his sadness, I didn't want to tell him what he wanted to know. It would be too painful; I didn't want my hikari to learn about my suffering. Instead, I just knelt down and caressed his hair, trying my best to comfort him.
"I just wanted to share in your pain, that's all," he said, still not looking at me.
"I'm sorry, aibou, but I fear... you might..."
He jerked his head towards me and looked at me straight in the eye. "I am strong, aren't I, Yami Yugi? You've said so yourself before, right?"
I was startled by his response, but I couldn't help but smile at the determination that I saw in his eyes. "Yes. You are strong indeed, aibou..."
"So why won't you let me share in your pain?" He was yelling now. I could sense the frustration in his voice.
I didn't know what to say, how to comply to his request, if I should. I was hesitant, of course; I wished to protect my hikari from my suffering. However, he wanted so much to help me... I was at a loss. I didn't know what to do.
"Everytime," he continued, his voice trembling, "you would lock me in my soul room, I knew you were in pain. You would leave me there, until the pain is over. Do you think that has spared me from any pain? No! I... I hurt because I knew you were hurting, knew you were in pain... Knew you were all alone in that experience. Knew that I could do nothing, never did anything..." His tears began to fall. "Never been able to help..."
I placed my hands on my hikari's face and wiped away the tears that stained his cheeks. Again, I looked into his eyes, which were wide and innocent and trusting... making me want to punish myself for being the inconsiderate fool who made this angel cry. Suddenly, I regretted the times when I had locked him away, thinking that it was for the best, thinking that it had spared him and protected him, but instead had left him suffering alone. I regretted the lost moments, which we should have gone through together, as two halves of one soul, sharing in the happiness, the sadness, the anxiety and the pain...
I hated myself for being the coward who was afraid of letting others see him suffer.
I brought my hikari to my chest, let him sob away his troubles. I caressed his hair, patted his back, tried my best to comfort him and ease his pain, as I whispered in his ear, "I'm sorry... Forgive me..." again and again. I felt tears roll down from my own eyes, but I didn't mind. Right now, my hikari and I were sharing in our pain.
Finally, when we had both calmed down, I asked him: "Are you sure?"
He gave me a confident nod. I stood up, took his hand and lifted him to his feet. "If that is what you wish... Then..." And I opened the door to the most painful experiences of my life...
(to be continued)
Click here to proceed to Chapter 6. Click here to see the Table of Contents.
Genre: Romance, Angst
Description: Despite his love for Seto Kaiba, the Pharaoh Yami Yugi has decided to move on to the afterlife. Now, he feels regret for his decision, and prays for another chance for him and his beloved to be together.
Pairing: Seto Kaiba x Yami Yugi (Prideshipping)
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!
Contemplations in the Afterlife
by: scarlet wax petal
Click here to return to Chapter 4. Click here to see the Table of Contents.
Although it was Yami Yugi's consciousness that was dominant in my body at that time, I was also fully aware of what was happening. It was just like those times when we were on a duel. I saw what he saw, heard what he heard, felt what he felt.
So when Shadi had said those words, I also experienced my yami's terror -- at least, for a moment, until he cut off our mind link. I found myself thrust to my soul room, against my will, the door suddenly shutting locked before me. I feared for my yami. Whatever he was experiencing must be so painful and frightening that he did not want me to share in it. He was always like this, always protecting me. I often wished he didn't, and allow me to share in the pain. At least, we would be in it together, so it wouldn't be as terrible.
But he was always in it by himself, all alone. And I was always left helpless, with no way of helping him.
Still, I wouldn't be sitting here, waiting for a miracle to happen. I ran to the door, fiddled with the doorknob, banged my fists repeatedly on cold steel. Nothing. I screamed out his name over and over. No response.
My yami's psychic defenses are awfully strong. But I wouldn't give up.
Finally, the lock gave way, by itself. Yami Yugi must have blacked out. I opened the door and found him lying on the floor, curled up in his arms. I sat down and gently lay his head upon my lap. His face was serene, his breathing even and natural. Whatever had scared him must be over now, as unconsciousness has claimed him in its merciful embrace and spared him from further suffering.
Chapter 5: Yugi
My soul awoke. I found myself on my hikari's lap. I realized that we were in the chambers of our mind. Then, I had not yet regained my senses in the physical world.
I strained to stand up, but the throbbing pain on my head and chest made it difficult for me to move. My hikari must have seen the expression of pain on my face, for he placed his hand on my chest and gently pushed me back down. He hushed me and softly told me not to push myself further. So I lay back down and waited for the pain to subside.
For a long time, we stayed there, still and silent. No words were said, but we both knew that we were exchanging something between the two of us -- something that cannot be explained, only felt. It was a bond deeper than that shared by twin brothers. I decided to let the moment last for as long as possible, as somehow, I knew: this would be the last time that my hikari and I would be doing this.
Finally, I broke the silence: "I should be going back now." I stood up and prepared to return to the physical world.
"Wait," he said, pulling on one leg of my pants. I turned my head towards him.
"What is it, aibou?" I asked.
"You still haven't told me what caused you pain..."
Again, my hikari must have seen something unpleasant cross my face. He flinched, turned his head away and closed his eyes. "I'm sorry..." he murmured. "I'm so sorry..."
I said nothing. I just looked at him. Although I had wanted to lull his sadness, I didn't want to tell him what he wanted to know. It would be too painful; I didn't want my hikari to learn about my suffering. Instead, I just knelt down and caressed his hair, trying my best to comfort him.
"I just wanted to share in your pain, that's all," he said, still not looking at me.
"I'm sorry, aibou, but I fear... you might..."
He jerked his head towards me and looked at me straight in the eye. "I am strong, aren't I, Yami Yugi? You've said so yourself before, right?"
I was startled by his response, but I couldn't help but smile at the determination that I saw in his eyes. "Yes. You are strong indeed, aibou..."
"So why won't you let me share in your pain?" He was yelling now. I could sense the frustration in his voice.
I didn't know what to say, how to comply to his request, if I should. I was hesitant, of course; I wished to protect my hikari from my suffering. However, he wanted so much to help me... I was at a loss. I didn't know what to do.
"Everytime," he continued, his voice trembling, "you would lock me in my soul room, I knew you were in pain. You would leave me there, until the pain is over. Do you think that has spared me from any pain? No! I... I hurt because I knew you were hurting, knew you were in pain... Knew you were all alone in that experience. Knew that I could do nothing, never did anything..." His tears began to fall. "Never been able to help..."
I placed my hands on my hikari's face and wiped away the tears that stained his cheeks. Again, I looked into his eyes, which were wide and innocent and trusting... making me want to punish myself for being the inconsiderate fool who made this angel cry. Suddenly, I regretted the times when I had locked him away, thinking that it was for the best, thinking that it had spared him and protected him, but instead had left him suffering alone. I regretted the lost moments, which we should have gone through together, as two halves of one soul, sharing in the happiness, the sadness, the anxiety and the pain...
I hated myself for being the coward who was afraid of letting others see him suffer.
I brought my hikari to my chest, let him sob away his troubles. I caressed his hair, patted his back, tried my best to comfort him and ease his pain, as I whispered in his ear, "I'm sorry... Forgive me..." again and again. I felt tears roll down from my own eyes, but I didn't mind. Right now, my hikari and I were sharing in our pain.
Finally, when we had both calmed down, I asked him: "Are you sure?"
He gave me a confident nod. I stood up, took his hand and lifted him to his feet. "If that is what you wish... Then..." And I opened the door to the most painful experiences of my life...
(to be continued)
Click here to proceed to Chapter 6. Click here to see the Table of Contents.
posted by cent @ 11:52 AM
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