Contemplations in the Afterlife 02
Fandom: Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters
Genre: Romance, Angst
Description: Despite his love for Seto Kaiba, the Pharaoh Yami Yugi has decided to move on to the afterlife. Now, he feels regret for his decision, and prays for another chance for him and his beloved to be together.
Pairing: Seto Kaiba x Yami Yugi (Prideshipping)
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!
Contemplations in the Afterlife
by: scarlet wax petal
Click here to return to Chapter 1. Click here to see the Table of Contents.
Yami Yugi was shaken when I told him what I honestly thought. "You are in love with Seto Kaiba," I had told him. It was so obvious, based on what he had told me anyway, although my own judgment had its doubts. To tell the truth, I couldn't rationalize how anyone -- my yami, especially -- could fall in love with a man as cold and as arrogant as Seto Kaiba. I guess that I still haven't fully forgiven him for hurting my grandfather years ago. It may have been evident that Kaiba had changed, over the years, and he had become tolerable, but I still couldn't like him well enough to be a close friend.
Apparently, in our group of friends (or perhaps even in the entire population of the world, save Mokuba), it was only Yami Yugi who has had the opportunity (and the right) to properly relate with Kaiba. Given that, I guess it was possible for my yami to develop feelings for the man.
In other words, I was giving his heart the benefit of the doubt. And I would respect my yami's feelings no matter what.
I watched my yami as he gripped the cup, his knuckles whitened with tension. It was during one of those days when my yami would separate from my body and sit nearby, when we would have a chat about anything and everything. I was the only one who saw him, of course, so these days were rare; I wouldn't have wanted anyone -- not even Anzu or Honda or Jou -- to see me talking to thin air and think of me as a fool. Oftentimes, we would drink coffee or tea; somehow, even as a spirit, he managed to ingest these drinks. Or at least that was how it appeared to me; I honestly had no way of becoming sure about it.
Today, he didn't drink his tea. I had hoped he drank it, to calm himself. But he just sat there, with a puzzled blank look on his face, as he repeated the story -- in more detail -- that he had told me earlier. I listened patiently. My heart ached to learn that my yami was suffering from his feelings. Then again, I was glad he had finally found someone to love this deeply.
He asked for my opinion, and I gave it. I held back nothing; I told him what I honestly thought. I knew that my answer hurt him, but I owed my yami so much that I couldn't bear to give him half-truths. I knew that he was counting on my honest judgment, so I gave it to him.
When we were done, Yami Yugi retreated to his soul room. He shut off all communication between us. Even then, I knew that my yami was crying, and it touched my heart. I cried with him. I shared in his pain and confusion.
Suddenly, a noise from upstairs caused me to break away from my musing. I quickly wiped my tears and washed my face on the kitchen sink. When I felt that I had already gotten rid of the evidence, I turned to look at the stairs. Anzu, Honda and Jou descended, all ready in their casual wear. They smiled and I smiled back at them.
It was Jou who spoke first, as usual. "So, ready to visit the pyramids?"
Chapter 2: Realization
I realized my feelings too late. We were already in Egypt, and I was on my way to collecting my memories.
Well, it seemed there was no turning back now. And besides, after my talk with my hikari, I realized that loving Kaiba (I finally accepted the fact that I was in love with him) was not worth letting go of my mission.
I had asked my hikari for his honest opinion: "Do you think... Kaiba and I... have hope of becoming... together?"
Yugi looked at me with his soulful eyes and said: "Well, there is always hope, but..." and he looked away. He was silent for some time. I saw in his eyes he was thinking of how he would say what he wanted to say. Finally, he broke the silence, determination clear in his gaze: "Kaiba is a proud creature who denies himself any love. I think he would scoff at the idea of anyone loving him, you especially." And then more silence.
I nodded in agreement. I imagined myself approaching Kaiba and telling him about my feelings. Telling him about how I had fallen for his brilliance, his sacrifice, his chivalry and nobility. His pride. His mystery. His love. Telling him of how I wanted to be together with him, how my heart ached whenever I remembered him and realized he wasn't there. Telling him of my gratitude, for teaching me how wonderful it is to fall in love.
Asking if my feelings were reciprocated.
Seeing him laugh wildly at my face, scorn and disgust in his deep blue eyes. And then the words: Go away. Stay away from me.
Seeing him avoid me. Never seeing him again, never hearing his voice... Losing his trust, his respect and his friendship.
It would be too much for me to bear. I decided not to hope for a future with Seto Kaiba and to settle with what we had right now.
Yugi broke the silence. "To be honest with you, I find the idea of you and Kaiba together... frightening. I am scared, Yami Yugi, that he might just hurt you. He is cold, calculating and shrewd. I am scared that he might just use your love against you, Yami Yugi."
I must have scared Yugi with the expression on my face after he had said those words. His eyes suddenly widened, apparently in shock, and then went downcast. "I am sorry..." he said, his voice shaky. He looked as if he was about to cry.
I placed a hand on my hikari's shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. "It's okay..." I whispered inaudibly. "It's going to be okay..."
Part of me tried to deny the obvious, tried to say that my hikari was wrong, but I couldn't get the truth out of my mind. Deep inside, I agreed with everything that my hikari had said.
I secluded myself from Yugi afterwards. I locked myself in my soul room and dropped to the cold stone floor on my knees. There, I cried as loudly as I could, knowing the no one -- not even my hikari -- would hear. I shouted at fate, and damned it. I cursed the Gods for being merciless, for resurrecting my soul and giving me a ray of hope, only to take it away.
For allowing me to fall in love and letting me realize that it was hopeless.
For punishing me again and again for reasons I didn't know.
I hit the cold stone walls with my fists, with my feet, with my head, hoping that the bodily pain would help me forget the pain in my heart. It didn't work. Frustrations stabbed cruelly at my heart like a sword. I screamed and I lashed out, like a madman, until I was drained of my strength and I fell to the cold stone floor. There, I lay in the darkness, curled up in my arms, hoping that the Gods would have mercy on me and numb me senseless.
Apparently, they had other plans. I had not yet recovered from my realizations when I sensed my hikari knocking at my door. I stood from where I was and open the door. Yugi stood there, the God cards in his hand.
It was time. I knew what I had to do. I had to learn my past.
(to be continued)
Click here to proceed to Chapter 3. Click here to see the Table of Contents.
Genre: Romance, Angst
Description: Despite his love for Seto Kaiba, the Pharaoh Yami Yugi has decided to move on to the afterlife. Now, he feels regret for his decision, and prays for another chance for him and his beloved to be together.
Pairing: Seto Kaiba x Yami Yugi (Prideshipping)
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!
Contemplations in the Afterlife
by: scarlet wax petal
Click here to return to Chapter 1. Click here to see the Table of Contents.
Yami Yugi was shaken when I told him what I honestly thought. "You are in love with Seto Kaiba," I had told him. It was so obvious, based on what he had told me anyway, although my own judgment had its doubts. To tell the truth, I couldn't rationalize how anyone -- my yami, especially -- could fall in love with a man as cold and as arrogant as Seto Kaiba. I guess that I still haven't fully forgiven him for hurting my grandfather years ago. It may have been evident that Kaiba had changed, over the years, and he had become tolerable, but I still couldn't like him well enough to be a close friend.
Apparently, in our group of friends (or perhaps even in the entire population of the world, save Mokuba), it was only Yami Yugi who has had the opportunity (and the right) to properly relate with Kaiba. Given that, I guess it was possible for my yami to develop feelings for the man.
In other words, I was giving his heart the benefit of the doubt. And I would respect my yami's feelings no matter what.
I watched my yami as he gripped the cup, his knuckles whitened with tension. It was during one of those days when my yami would separate from my body and sit nearby, when we would have a chat about anything and everything. I was the only one who saw him, of course, so these days were rare; I wouldn't have wanted anyone -- not even Anzu or Honda or Jou -- to see me talking to thin air and think of me as a fool. Oftentimes, we would drink coffee or tea; somehow, even as a spirit, he managed to ingest these drinks. Or at least that was how it appeared to me; I honestly had no way of becoming sure about it.
Today, he didn't drink his tea. I had hoped he drank it, to calm himself. But he just sat there, with a puzzled blank look on his face, as he repeated the story -- in more detail -- that he had told me earlier. I listened patiently. My heart ached to learn that my yami was suffering from his feelings. Then again, I was glad he had finally found someone to love this deeply.
He asked for my opinion, and I gave it. I held back nothing; I told him what I honestly thought. I knew that my answer hurt him, but I owed my yami so much that I couldn't bear to give him half-truths. I knew that he was counting on my honest judgment, so I gave it to him.
When we were done, Yami Yugi retreated to his soul room. He shut off all communication between us. Even then, I knew that my yami was crying, and it touched my heart. I cried with him. I shared in his pain and confusion.
Suddenly, a noise from upstairs caused me to break away from my musing. I quickly wiped my tears and washed my face on the kitchen sink. When I felt that I had already gotten rid of the evidence, I turned to look at the stairs. Anzu, Honda and Jou descended, all ready in their casual wear. They smiled and I smiled back at them.
It was Jou who spoke first, as usual. "So, ready to visit the pyramids?"
Chapter 2: Realization
I realized my feelings too late. We were already in Egypt, and I was on my way to collecting my memories.
Well, it seemed there was no turning back now. And besides, after my talk with my hikari, I realized that loving Kaiba (I finally accepted the fact that I was in love with him) was not worth letting go of my mission.
I had asked my hikari for his honest opinion: "Do you think... Kaiba and I... have hope of becoming... together?"
Yugi looked at me with his soulful eyes and said: "Well, there is always hope, but..." and he looked away. He was silent for some time. I saw in his eyes he was thinking of how he would say what he wanted to say. Finally, he broke the silence, determination clear in his gaze: "Kaiba is a proud creature who denies himself any love. I think he would scoff at the idea of anyone loving him, you especially." And then more silence.
I nodded in agreement. I imagined myself approaching Kaiba and telling him about my feelings. Telling him about how I had fallen for his brilliance, his sacrifice, his chivalry and nobility. His pride. His mystery. His love. Telling him of how I wanted to be together with him, how my heart ached whenever I remembered him and realized he wasn't there. Telling him of my gratitude, for teaching me how wonderful it is to fall in love.
Asking if my feelings were reciprocated.
Seeing him laugh wildly at my face, scorn and disgust in his deep blue eyes. And then the words: Go away. Stay away from me.
Seeing him avoid me. Never seeing him again, never hearing his voice... Losing his trust, his respect and his friendship.
It would be too much for me to bear. I decided not to hope for a future with Seto Kaiba and to settle with what we had right now.
Yugi broke the silence. "To be honest with you, I find the idea of you and Kaiba together... frightening. I am scared, Yami Yugi, that he might just hurt you. He is cold, calculating and shrewd. I am scared that he might just use your love against you, Yami Yugi."
I must have scared Yugi with the expression on my face after he had said those words. His eyes suddenly widened, apparently in shock, and then went downcast. "I am sorry..." he said, his voice shaky. He looked as if he was about to cry.
I placed a hand on my hikari's shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. "It's okay..." I whispered inaudibly. "It's going to be okay..."
Part of me tried to deny the obvious, tried to say that my hikari was wrong, but I couldn't get the truth out of my mind. Deep inside, I agreed with everything that my hikari had said.
I secluded myself from Yugi afterwards. I locked myself in my soul room and dropped to the cold stone floor on my knees. There, I cried as loudly as I could, knowing the no one -- not even my hikari -- would hear. I shouted at fate, and damned it. I cursed the Gods for being merciless, for resurrecting my soul and giving me a ray of hope, only to take it away.
For allowing me to fall in love and letting me realize that it was hopeless.
For punishing me again and again for reasons I didn't know.
I hit the cold stone walls with my fists, with my feet, with my head, hoping that the bodily pain would help me forget the pain in my heart. It didn't work. Frustrations stabbed cruelly at my heart like a sword. I screamed and I lashed out, like a madman, until I was drained of my strength and I fell to the cold stone floor. There, I lay in the darkness, curled up in my arms, hoping that the Gods would have mercy on me and numb me senseless.
Apparently, they had other plans. I had not yet recovered from my realizations when I sensed my hikari knocking at my door. I stood from where I was and open the door. Yugi stood there, the God cards in his hand.
It was time. I knew what I had to do. I had to learn my past.
(to be continued)
Click here to proceed to Chapter 3. Click here to see the Table of Contents.
posted by cent @ 11:45 AM
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